Burn It Down
Anonymous said:That’s basic. I have that nightmare all the time.
[Johnny accepted the affection, wrapping his arms around Howard’s middle and holding him just as tightly back. He was biting back the disappointment and trying to hope when Howard whispered.]
Okay— [Johnny let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, burying his face between Howard’s neck and shoulder.] I know. I know now.
[Howard pet along Johnny’s back, frowning as he felt the other loosen his grip and he was a disappointment. He could feel it in Johnny’s body language. Setting his brow into a thin line, Howard wondered what could honestly be so hard about simply telling someone he loved them? It wouldn’t be the end of the world that’s for sure. Sighing softly, he pressed into Johnny’s hair, gentle and sweet] I love you too.
[Johnny squeezed his eyes shut as he felt something squeeze his insides. He didn’t realize how good just hearing that would make him feel. He’d heard it a million times before from a million different people, women he’d slept with and bedded and not thought twice about. His body temperature rose as he relaxed into Howard’s embrace.]
You’re going to be the death of me.
[Howard nuzzled Johnny close, hugging him as tight as he could and sighed, feeling the other shaking against him and felt more and more like a jackass tugging at his poor heartstrings] I feel the same way…I hope you know.. [he whispered softly]
[Johnny accepted the affection, wrapping his arms around Howard’s middle and holding him just as tightly back. He was biting back the disappointment and trying to hope when Howard whispered.]
Okay— [Johnny let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, burying his face between Howard’s neck and shoulder.] I know. I know now.
[Howard was taken by surprise from the kiss, moaning softly into it before he was melting, feeling the heat and his own body flushed at the closeness, how intimate everything was. Especially hearing him say it. It jolts him just a bit in slightly remembering a bit of how they used to be]
You’ll be the death of me.
[Johnny smiled, a little shaky after the admission. It was hard, to admit it even to himself. He felt more raw and open than ever. He laughed a little when Howard spoke, a slight sob stopping him and he leaned his forehead against Howard’s]
Not anytime soon I hope.
[Johnny drops his hand, a little dejected.]
You’re not. You… [shakes his head] It’s not how you think…
I— I care about you, a lot, and with everything you’ve done for me I’m going to adore you for the rest of my life… No matter what you do or say.
You say that now because you’re young..You have all the time in the world to wait for me to die and go back to your life. [bitterly]
[Frowning, Johnny grabbed Howard and kissed him, the gesture full of want and desire. Johnny’s body heated more than usual as he pulled away, his blue eyes bright and clear.]
I say that because I mean it, I love you.
